I Said Thank You Out Loud

When the beeping went off to let me know I was done the workout, I actually said "thank you"...

...out loud...

...to my timer.

What can I say...it just slipped out.

Here's what I did (and if you're up for a challenge, it's something you can do, too!):

• barbell squats with a light weight (135 lbs on the bar)
• for 40 minutes total
• doing 3 rep sets
• with 10 seconds rest in between sets (not a typo...TEN seconds)

That's it...just put a light weight on the bar and hammer away at those 3 rep sets on
ten seconds rest until your total time is up.

And if you get to a point where you can't do 3 reps on a set, then bump the rest up to
20 seconds (you might recognize this as my Time-Volume Training protocol) and keep going.

The first 10 minutes was easy...the next 10 wasn't bad. The third 10 minute
block...challenging...the last 10 minute block...swearing pretty much continuously
at myself.

So yeah, when that timer went off, I literally said "thank you" out loud to my timer and MEANT it... :).

And before you ask...yes, you CAN do this type of training with other exercises. I've
done it with decline push-ups as well. It's incredibly effective and will really hit your
muscles in a way they've never been hit before.

It will also show you where your form might be off, too. Any issues you have will be
magnified by hundreds of reps. For me, I started getting a tweak in my right-side lower
back after the first 10 minutes.

I looked at my foot placement and my left foot was placed a little further back than my
right foot, which was causing some torque to run through the right side of my lower
back at the bottom of each squat. I fixed the foot placement but the back stayed
tweaked for the remaining 30 minutes (which wasn't fun but I grinded it out anyway).

This type of training is called "Metabolic Resistance Training"...or MRT, for short.

And to me, MRT is simply THE most effective way to burn fat while maintaining
muscle mass. I very rarely do conventional cardio...I find it pretty boring and ineffective.
MRT is much better and much more fun.

And just to be clear, not every MRT workout has to be this nuts. In fact, most probably
shouldn't be. I just like to challenge myself like this on occasion.

Now, if you saw my email yesterday about my friend and colleague Craig Ballantyne's
"Metabolic Resistance Training" program, you'll know about the insane deal he put
together for you...92% OFF the regular price off his program (7 bucks).

This 7 bucks includes THREE books..."Metabolic Resistance Training", "Bodyweight
Cardio" and "Metabolic Finishers."

The workouts found in these books aren't nuts to same degree as that squat workout
I did last night but they're extremely effective and for 7 bucks, you really can't go wrong.

Craig is a master trainer and definitely one of the guys I trust in this business.

Here's the link again to pick up MRT for TT for 7 bucks...
Enjoy!

Nick

P.S. If you do try that 40 minute workout, let me know how you did with it...or feel
free to just vent about brutal it was :) My legs are seizing up even as I write this.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Rescue a Pet, Adopt dog, cat, Etc.

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Ruff Ruff! My name is V's Pouncer

Help me get seen and adopted!

---

V's Pouncer's Info...

Breed:	Labrador Retriever Mix	Color:	Black	Age:	Puppy
Size:	Med. 26-60 lbs (12-27 kg)	Sex:	Female	ID#:	A920691

I am already spayed, up to date with shots, and good with dogs.

V's Pouncer's Story...
V's Pouncer is an 8 week old Labrador Retriever available for adoption in Las Vegas. This puppy can not be seen or adopted prior to 12/15/2012 at 10am! V's Pouncer is microchipped and comes with a free vet visit. V's Pouncer will be available for adoption on Saturday & Sunday from 10am-3pm at Petsmart located on 2140 N Rainbow Blvd (Best of the West Shopping Center), cross streets Rainbow & Lake Mead Blvd. Adoption fee applies. You are required to have a collar & leash that fit the dog you are adopting before you can take the dog home with you. If you are interested in V's Pouncer, please contact Naomi at dogrescuelv@hotmail.com to make sure V's Pouncer will be at adoptions this weekend. We have limited space at the store, therefore we can not take every dog out to adoptions. Please make sure you have read the information below before contacting one of our volunteers.

Contact This Rescue Group...

Rescue Group: Adopt A Rescue Pet Pet ID #: A920691 Phone: (702) 798-8663 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting (702) 798-8663 end_of_the_skype_highlighting Let 'em know you saw "V's Pouncer" on Adopt-a-Pet.com! E-mail: arprenee@gmail.com Let 'em know you saw "V's Pouncer" on Adopt-a-Pet.com! Fax: (702) 834-5965 Website: http://www.adoptarescuepet.org Address: 1500 E Tropicana Ave Ste 105 Las Vegas, NV 89119 Help this Rescue Group by making a donation.

Rescue Group Info...

About Our Rescue Group...
Adopt A Rescue Pet has grown to be one of Nevada's largest animal rescue groups providing a safe haven for dogs suffering from abuse, neglect or homelessness. In most of these cases, death would have resulted if the animal had entered a municipally funded shelter. Adopt A Rescue Pet receives no local or federal funding, it relies solely on the generosity of its contributors and tax deductible donations received from the public. We always need volunteers!

Come Meet Our Pets...
Adoptions are ONLY held on the weekends at a specific store location listed in the dog's story.
Please read all information regarding the dog in question before calling. Not all dogs have the cell phone listed below as a contact. Please contact the person responsible for that specific dog listed in that dog's story.
The 615-424-7090 is the personal cell of a volunteer that can answer questions regarding the dogs listed for adoption. She can be reached 10AM-Midnight. You can also send text messages or email her at arprenee@gmail.com.

Our Adoption Process...
Please read the FULL story of each dog. It will tell you who to contact and which location that dog is being adopted from each weekend. You MUST have a collar & leash before you will be allowed to take a dog home with you.
Each animal has an adoption fee. The fees pay the dog's vet bills. We require everyone to fill out a 4 page questionaire/requirements to help us determine if this is the best fit for the dog and its potential human family. If you rent, please bring your rental agreement stating that you are allowed to have a dog and what the requirements and restrictions are for your home, apartment or condo property.
Adopt A Rescue Pet is run solely by volunteers. We will run your call or email as quickly as possible.
Please read the dog's information and contact the person listed as the contact for that specific dog. Not all of our dogs have the same contact information and some breeds require pre-approval.

We Serve the Following Cities, Towns, and/or Counties...
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New Exercises Men and Women

Reliv - https://rcnaegle.reliv.com




I swear, he's out of his mind...
Exercises to Build Shirt-Stretching GUNS
New exercises = bigger, better arms...
These exercises are just insane
You've gotta be freaking kidding me...


Feel free to come up with your own!



Body:


Hi All!

So yesterday, I told you about Nick Nilsson's new book "The Best Arm Exercises You've Never Heard Of". Well, the response has just been HUGE.

----------

Got no patience? Click here to check it out now:
http://hop.clickbank.net/myguymygir/betteru&l=800

----------

And Nick told me the most frequent comment he's been getting about these exercises...

"How do you come up with this sh--?" (expletive deleted :)

Here's his response:

---

"Well, to me, it's all about results. I don't create exercises just for the sake of creating exercises. They've gotta have a purpose and they've gotta get RESULTS.

I mean, I take equipment and look at it in completely different ways. Where one person sees a bench press machine, I see a shoulder press, a leg press, a calf raise machine, curl machine, row machine...sometimes, I'll challenge myself to work every single bodypart while limiting myself to just that one piece of equipment.

And then there are times when I just say what the 'heck' and go all mad scientist.

For example, one of the most bizarro exercises I've got in the book is one I call the Bodyweight Preacher Curl. I'll give you the breakdown on how I came up with this one.

You see, when you do a bodyweight exercise, you actually activate MORE muscle fibers than when doing regular free weight and especially machine exercises. You have to stabilize your body and activate the muscles in a very natural manner. It just makes the exercise more effective.

So one day I thought to myself...the Preacher Curl is a great bicep exercise...let's see if I can figure out a way to brace my FOREARMS on the pad and curl my BODYWEIGHT up instead of the normal way of doing it, with upper arms on the pad and curling a bar.

With a little messing around, I came up with the solution (apparently I have an intensely curious and determined mind when it comes solving problems that most people don't even know they have :).

You bring the Preacher bench into the power rack and turn it 90 degrees so it's facing one side. You move that side rail down so it's just a few inches above the top edge of the Preacher pad. Next, you set a flat bench outside the rack on the other side.

Set your forearms on the Preacher pad and grip onto the safety rail at the top of the pad. Now set your toes on the bench - your body will be straight but your knees will be bent...you will be pretty much almost kneeling on the ground.

Now curl yourself up, using your feet on the bench to provide assistance and balance - you can use your legs to provide as much assistance as you need, which means you can spot yourself easily.

So as you curl your body up, you'll notice one small thing...

YOUR BICEPS ARE ON FREAKING FIRE...

And that's just the first rep...just wait until you finish your first set!"

---

Man, when I got the visual on THAT exercise, it blew my mind. And that's just ONE exercise out of the 68 in the book.

If you want to build ARMS and the regular exercises just aren't getting the job done, you have GOT to check this book out:

http://hop.clickbank.net/myguymygir/betteru&l=800


Sincerely,

Robert Naegle

Not Set in Stone

These are not set in stone so feel free to come up with your own!

You've gotta see these crazy arm exercises...
Need to break a plateau? Try THESE exercises
I don't know what he's smoking but...
Build MONSTER arms FAST with these cool exercises
Amazing new arm exercise book to check out


Body:



These are not set in stone so feel free to come up with your own!

You've gotta see these crazy arm exercises...
Need to break a plateau? Try THESE exercises
I don't know what he's smoking but...
Build MONSTER arms FAST with these cool exercises
Amazing new arm exercise book to check out


Body:


Hi All!

If you're in a training rut...gains coming to a screeching halt...or maybe you're just plain bored with your training right now.

Well, I've got some EXCELLENT news for you!

And if you like insane, new exercises that will not only give your muscles a shock but ELECTRIFY your motivation again...I've got even BETTER news for you...

Nick Nilsson (a.k.a. the "Mad Scientist" of exercise) has just come out with a new book called "The Best Arm Exercises You've Never Heard Of."

I think the name says it all :)

----------

Got no patience? Click here to check it out now:
http://hop.clickbank.net/myguymygir/betteru&l=800

----------

And let me tell you, there is some VERY cool stuff in this book.

He's packed in 68 amazing exercises for the biceps, triceps and forearms. If you've seen even a fraction of these before, you're living on a different planet.

I mean, check some of these out:


NILSSON CURLS

A bodyweight exercise for your biceps that LOOKS like a chin-up but uses a special "bracing" technique to put almost ALL your bodyweight directly onto your BICEPS. Imagine the growth you'll get with THAT much resistance going directly onto your bi's!


REVERSE PEC DECK LOCKOUTS

A breakthrough in tricep contractions, this exercise targets the most anatomically-possible contracted position of the muscle with extremely heavy weights. Get ready for it because I guarantee you've never felt a tricep contraction this hard in your entire life.


ONE ARM BARBELL CURLS

Doing the Barbell Curl with only one arm tests your strength, balance, coordination and determination. It can be extremely difficult to do but the results are totally worth it. Not only does it increase muscle activation in the biceps, it gives your grip a tremendous workout as well!


SPIDERMAN RACK PUSH-UPS

Setup time is an sometimes an issue when you're training. This great tricep exercise is a mash-up between close-grip push-ups and bodyweight tricep extensions. The key is how you do them in a rack to basically spring-load the tension onto your tri's. Very quick to do but brutal!


LEANING WRIST CURLS

This unique version of the wrist curl adds a new dimension of tension...instead of just doing a plain old wrist curl, you'll also be supporting your bodyweight on your forearms to increase the tension. This position also gives you natural "occlusion training" (which is basically limiting the blood flow out of a muscle while training in order to increase hormonal growth factors in the area). If you're ever had trouble building forearms, this exercise might just hold the key for you...


So here's the deal...

Right now, Nick's just released this book and is only charging $49.95 for the full 68-exercise book. This is just DIRT CHEAP for the sheer volume of innovative exercises you'll find in it. Exercise descriptions, pictures, even an entire VIDEO LIBARY that you'll have full access to so you know exactly how to perform every exercise.

If you've got access to free weight and bodyweight and a few basic pieces of equipment, you'll be able to use the VAST majority of these exercises.

Here's the cool thing...Nick has posted FIVE exercises taken directly from the book right on his site for you read to and try out RIGHT NOW. No need to sign up for anything - just go the site and learn 'em.

I think he thinks once you've tried these samples, you'll be hooked...

Me? I think he's right...

Go check it out here:

http://hop.clickbank.net/myguymygir/betteru&l=800


Sincerly,
Robert

P.S. When you get to the site and poke around the sample exercises, you'll notice he's got a sign-up box where you can actually get three ADDITIONAL exercises. Definitely sign up for this - he told me he's also going to be sending out even MORE sample exercises to the people who do.

http://hop.clickbank.net/myguymygir/betteru&l=800

---

Nick Nilsson (a.k.a. the "Mad Scientist" of exercise) has just come out with a new book called "The Best Arm Exercises You've Never Heard Of."

I think the name says it all :)

----------

Got no patience? Click here to check it out now:
http://hop.clickbank.net/myguymygir/betteru&l=800

----------

And let me tell you, there is some VERY cool stuff in this book.

He's packed in 68 amazing exercises for the biceps, triceps and forearms. If you've seen even a fraction of these before, you're living on a different planet.

I mean, check some of these out:


NILSSON CURLS

A bodyweight exercise for your biceps that LOOKS like a chin-up but uses a special "bracing" technique to put almost ALL your bodyweight directly onto your BICEPS. Imagine the growth you'll get with THAT much resistance going directly onto your bi's!


REVERSE PEC DECK LOCKOUTS

A breakthrough in tricep contractions, this exercise targets the most anatomically-possible contracted position of the muscle with extremely heavy weights. Get ready for it because I guarantee you've never felt a tricep contraction this hard in your entire life.


ONE ARM BARBELL CURLS

Doing the Barbell Curl with only one arm tests your strength, balance, coordination and determination. It can be extremely difficult to do but the results are totally worth it. Not only does it increase muscle activation in the biceps, it gives your grip a tremendous workout as well!


SPIDERMAN RACK PUSH-UPS

Setup time is an sometimes an issue when you're training. This great tricep exercise is a mash-up between close-grip push-ups and bodyweight tricep extensions. The key is how you do them in a rack to basically spring-load the tension onto your tri's. Very quick to do but brutal!


LEANING WRIST CURLS

This unique version of the wrist curl adds a new dimension of tension...instead of just doing a plain old wrist curl, you'll also be supporting your bodyweight on your forearms to increase the tension. This position also gives you natural "occlusion training" (which is basically limiting the blood flow out of a muscle while training in order to increase hormonal growth factors in the area). If you're ever had trouble building forearms, this exercise might just hold the key for you...


So here's the deal...

Right now, Nick's just released this book and is only charging $49.95 for the full 68-exercise book. This is just DIRT CHEAP for the sheer volume of innovative exercises you'll find in it. Exercise descriptions, pictures, even an entire VIDEO LIBARY that you'll have full access to so you know exactly how to perform every exercise.

If you've got access to free weight and bodyweight and a few basic pieces of equipment, you'll be able to use the VAST majority of these exercises.

Here's the cool thing...Nick has posted FIVE exercises taken directly from the book right on his site for you read to and try out RIGHT NOW. No need to sign up for anything - just go the site and learn 'em.

I think he thinks once you've tried these samples, you'll be hooked...

Me? I think he's right...

Go check it out here:

http://hop.clickbank.net/myguymygir/betteru&l=800


Sincerly,

Robert

P.S. When you get to the site and poke around the sample exercises, you'll notice he's got a sign-up box where you can actually get three ADDITIONAL exercises. Definitely sign up for this - he told me he's also going to be sending out even MORE sample exercises to the people who do.

http://hop.clickbank.net/myguymygir/betteru&l=800

---

Giving Me a Kiss! More on Understanding Dog Language

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How To Train Your Dog Without Touching It!

Give Me a Kiss! More on Understanding Dog Language

October 1st, 2012

Posted By:
Minette

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• 
  

Who Wouldn’t Want to Kiss This Face?

This morning as I sat trying to wake up, sipping some water and watching a bit of TV my 18 month old Belgian Malinois came up for a snuggle.
I have been sad and mourning the loss of my almost 13 year old Belgian and I think we both needed a little lovin’.
As I leaned in for a little kiss (something my other Belgian LOVED) and my Jovi leaned away, it reminded me of how often we misinterpret doggy behavior and infer our human behavior on them.
In the dog world it is called anthropomorphizing or giving them human traits that they really don’t have.
He leaned away from me, not because he was being aggressive, and it wasn’t even that he didn’t want my love… it was simply because dogs don’t get in other dogs’ faces. It is rude, it can be aggressive and it usually isn’t tolerated well.
He respects me as the “ultimate alpha” or “Momma” of our pack. My leaning into his face just made him a little uncomfortable.
The reason my older dog liked this behavior; was because I had taught him when he was little to tolerate and then enjoy the behavior.
I remember when my old guy was little. He too was very submissive to me and so asking for eye contact was very difficult for him. Staring into my eyes, at first made him uncomfortable.
He would look around and about my face but was uneasy staring at my pupils.
But, he was fairly easy to train and learned that staring brought the click and food rewards and soon he was staring at me from across the room in hopes I would reward him.

Starting young can desensitize! But never allow your Children to Kiss a Dog he/she Doesn’t Know!

As a young dog trainer, I wondered if he would be comfortable taking food from my mouth. I remember leaning down with a fry in my beak and trying to pass it to his.
He was HORRIFIED! Dog’s don’t take food out of the mouths of other dogs!!! This is a terribly rude behavior and can result in trauma and possibly death in the wild!
It took some major coaxing and teaching him that the behavior was acceptable on cue.
I must admit there is no real reason to teach your dog to take food from your mouth; actually as a seasoned professional I would never recommend it… it could cause more behavior problems than have any functional duty.
But, I was curious and we often do silly things in training that we may regret later (I also taught him to unzip my purse BIG mistake!!). Thankfully he was the kind of dog that never made me regret this training and my lips still remain intact.
I need to desensitize my big Malinois that kisses are affectionate from me. This does not mean he would tolerate it from anyone else (unless they wanted to find their lips next to their cheek on a table at the hospital), but he is very submissive to me, so it is not a dominance problem.
I would never kiss my 5 month old puppy in the face, he is WAY too dominant!!! I could lose some lip for sure! Kissing a dominant dog is like “paying homage to an already arrogant ego”, it’s not something you would want to do!
But it made me reminisce how much we really forget dogs have a different set of behavior rules and keys!
It also makes me scared for children who think leaning into a furry snout is acceptable behavior; or hugging a dog is okay.
Both of these behaviors are very rude to dogs and very, very dominant. A submissive dog will often tolerate it, and some dogs seem to learn from our training and behavioral cues and begin to like it after a while; but some dogs would rip your face off for trying it.

The 9 News Dog Right Before He Bit. His Warning was Too Late for Her to See.

Dominant and or Aggressive Dogs Often Don’t Give Much of a Cue Before Biting

A dominant dog or puppy may stiffen just a bit, his eye will probably dilate and many dogs will roll their eyes to the side right before biting you. But if you are already in his space; you aren’t going to see it.
It reminds me of the news anchor that got bit in the face on live TV a few months ago.
The dog had saved his owners life and so they were doing a news story.
The news anchor was obviously a dog and animal lover; but didn’t know much about them in the way of behavior.
The dog was backed up to his owner and on a very short leash; so when the new anchor leaned in for a snoot kiss he reacted by almost ripping her nose off.
I watched the news clip and from a dog trainers perspective I can see his body stiffen, his eyes get hard and the flash of white right before he bit. But not everyone is a dog professional; especially not our children.

So What Do Ya Do?

Keep your kids out of the face of other dogs!
Don’t ever let them hug or kiss a dog they don’t know, and be cautious about allowing them to get in the habit of doing it to your family pet.
Your dog may not mind; but their best friend’s dog may! So preventing the bad habit from forming is sometimes key!

And, Know Your Dog

I like to desensitize my dogs to weird behavior that they may encounter from someone else and teach them some rude “human” behavior.
But I would never get in the face of a dog I didn’t know, and I would never allow someone to get in the face of my dogs!
Understanding them and recognizing that dogs are different from humans will take you a long way in your dog training program!

Tags: Dog Behavior, Dominant Dog, Keeping Children Safe with Dogs, Kissing Dogs, Kissing your dog, Rude Dog Behavior
Posted in Biting Dogs, Dog Aggression, Dog Training, Pack Leader | 36 comments

6 Controversial Foods

6 Controversial Foods: What to Avoid and What to Eat

From coffee to eggs and shrimp, get the latest facts on foods whose health reputations have flip-flopped throughout the years.

By Winnie Yu

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  The Capstone/flickr

  Red Meat

  A recent study in the Archives of Internal Medicine found that red meat consumption raises your risk of dying from cardiovascular disease and cancer. Although red meat does contain saturated fat, it also provides protein, iron and vitamin B12.
  
  Expert Recommendation: Limit red meat to portions that are about the size of a deck of cards, once or twice a week, says Taub-Dix. Choose leaner, less marbleized cuts like top sirloin or go with grass-fed beef, which has healthy omega-3s and less saturated fat.


Nutsinbulk/flickr
Should I Eat This?
One minute, your favorite food is good for you. The next, it’s practically toxic.
"What’s good today isn’t good tomorrow," says Bonnie Taub-Dix, MA, RD, a nutritionist in New York City and author of Read It Before You Eat It. "But if you have small portions and variety, you almost can’t lose."

Get the latest health scoop on these six controversial foods — and whether they still belong on your plate.


sciondriver/flickr
Eggs
A recent study from Case Western University claimed eating eggs is as bad for you as smoking cigarettes, saying people who ate more eggs had more plaque in their arteries. Eggs also have a notorious reputation for causing high cholesterol that leads to heart attacks and stroke.
In reality, Taub-Dix says, eggs are a quality source of protein that’s low in saturated fat, the real villain behind high cholesterol. Eggs are also rich in lutein and zeaxanthin, nutrients essential to eye health, she adds.

Expert Recommendation: Eat one egg three times a week.


Julius Schorzman
Coffee
A recent study in the New England Journal of Medicine found that coffee drinkers were less likely to die of heart disease, respiratory disease, stroke and diabetes. Other studies have linked coffee to a lower risk for diabetes and endometrial cancer. It also may lessen the impact of tremors from Parkinson’s disease.
But it can also increase your blood pressure, cause insomnia and aggravate reflux and stomach pain.

Expert Recommendation: Know how you respond to caffeine and drink your java accordingly, says Sarah Krieger, MPH, RD, a spokesman for the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics. “More is not better with coffee,”she says.


Shutterstock
Red Wine
Raise a glass to red wine, which has garnered respect as a heart-healthy beverage. “It is believed that reservatrol, a compound in the skins of red grapes, acts as an antioxidant and may have cardio-protective effects by increasing levels of HDL-cholesterol,” says Jennifer Dimitriou, RD, a bariatric surgery dietitian at Montefiore Medical Center in the Bronx, N.Y.
That said, too much alcohol of any kind however, has been linked to certain cancers.

Expert Recommendation: Women should have no more than one 5-ounce glass a day (about 1/5 of a bottle), while men should have no more than two. Medical experts associated with the Mayo Clinic advise people at high risk for developing cancer to limit their consumption to fewer than one drink per day or to abstain altogether.


Nutsinbulk/flickr
Nuts
Nuts have a bad rep as being high in fat, but they contain healthy monounsaturated fats that are good for your heart. They also may not be as fattening as we thought.
A recent study in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition found that the calories in an ounce of almonds may be only 130 calories, not 170 calories, if you measure the amount your body metabolizes.

Expert Recommendation: Eat one ounce a day, or 20 to 25 almonds. “Swap them for other foods in the diet that contain fats that are less healthy,” Taub-Dix says. For instance, instead of heaping rich salad dressings on your salad, try sprinkling it with almonds instead.


Legoktm/Wikimedia Commons
Shrimp
Because they contain relatively high amounts of cholesterol, shrimp were thought to be bad for your heart. But the full nutritional profile reveals that shrimp are low in saturated fat, which is the real culprit behind elevated LDL, or "bad" cholesterol. "Shrimp do contain a bit of cholesterol, but it’s the saturated fat in food that raises our LDL, not the cholesterol found in foods,” Krieger says.

Expert Recommendation: Enjoy up to three ounces a day, or about 6 or 7 medium-sized shrimp. Just make sure they’re steamed, baked or broiled. Avoid the fried variety, and you’ve got a low-calorie food that’s rich in lean protein.


The Capstone/flickr
Red Meat
A recent study in the Archives of Internal Medicine found that red meat consumption raises your risk of dying from cardiovascular disease and cancer. Although red meat does contain saturated fat, it also provides protein, iron and vitamin B12.

Expert Recommendation: Limit red meat to portions that are about the size of a deck of cards, once or twice a week, says Taub-Dix. Choose leaner, less marbleized cuts like top sirloin or go with grass-fed beef, which has healthy omega-3s and less saturated fat.

---

Six Things You Should Never Do

In our ongoing series of articles we've been exploring the nuances of rapport and how to create it because rapport is the foundation of all effective communication. In this latest edition we are going to take a slight detour to discuss some of those things you should never do-five major turn-offs that can quickly kill your chances of developing a positive relationship with another person.
You see there are a number of potentially fatal mistakes one can make, especially at the beginning of an interaction, which can truly jeopardize your ability to achieve the positive outcome you are looking for. I call these ‘landmines at the door' and if you are not careful, you can easily wander into them and then suddenly find your communication faltering, or much worse, blowing up in your face. Some are pretty obvious, others less so, but all deserve note. Let's take a look at what they are . . .
#1. Mispronouncing a person's name or title. This is easily one of the worst things you can possibly do when meeting someone for the first time. It has the potential to totally undermine your credibility with another person because a person's name is, well, personal. To many people, mispronouncing their name is about as rude as deliberately messing up their hair! Remember that a person's name is closely linked to their identity-their deepest sense of self. Be extremely careful when pronouncing another's name and if you are not sure how to do it, ask! If they have an unusual name, don't make the common mistake of making a ‘cute' joke about it: No matter what you think, they are not likely to find it funny-especially if they have heard that kind of comment before.
#2. Boasting about your accomplishments. Many people find it extremely distasteful when you openly brag about your title, position, wealth or accomplishments. You may think that you are ‘impressing' people, but odds are more likely you are simply alienating or humiliating them. Truly confident, accomplished people demonstrate confidence in the relaxed way in which they interact with others. They tend to downplay their accomplishments, not talk endlessly about all the great things they have or have done.
#3. Comparing them to someone else. This is the old, "You know who you remind me of?" game. It's very common and generally distasteful. Usually, they're comparing the person to someone famous, like a popular celebrity. The problem is, not all people admire the same celebrities and quite often people actually dislike others who in some way remind them of their own ‘flaws'. (In the same way most people find their own voices annoying when played back on audio recordings.) For example, I once commented to a very beautiful girl I knew that she reminded me of Christie Brinkley-surely a compliment since Christie Brinkley has been, and still is, one of the most physically beautiful women on the planet. This young lady, who was a very talented and intellectual English major in college, responded by saying, "Christie Brinkley is a bimbo who has gotten by on nothing but her looks." Needless to say, I never made that comparison again! The truth is, comparing people to someone else rarely does anything to further rapport since most people are already desperately hungering for someone to appreciate who they really are as they are. Unless you know they are absolutely crazy about the person they remind you of, drop the comparison compulsion and focus on them instead.
#4. Premature informality. Presumptuously acting as if you are part of someone's inner circle, or like you know someone much better than you really do, is often a total turn-off to many people and many people will display an almost instant aversion to people who act in this manner. Immediately calling someone ‘Bob' when they prefer ‘Robert', violating the subtleties of personal space through inappropriate closeness or touching, etc., can all be catastrophic to rapport. This type of behavior is often considered false and manipulative. Generally, it is much better to build connection by quietly demonstrating how you are in support of the other person's core values than it is to openly assume a level of rapport you may not actually have.
#5. Failing to listen. Remember that most people want to be the star of their own show and they love nothing more than an attentive audience. Just as genuinely listening to people is one of the most powerful things you can do to help build rapport, completely dominating a conversation is one of the worst things you can do to destroy it. Make sure you are aware of the ebb and flow of the conversation and that you allow the other person more than enough time and space to express themselves. They will love and regard you as a more intelligent person for doing so.
#6. Trying too hard to be like everyone else. This one is subtle and appears to be almost contradictory with one of the major principles of rapport, which is, "People tend to like people who are like them or who are like how they want to be." The truth is, you can't be too much like other people or you won't be noticed and you won't be respected. It's important to realize that people respect and admire strength and that no person is regarded as stronger than the man or woman who has a healthy love and acceptance of themselves for who they already are and who they choose to be. Dare to be a little different while truly respecting the uniqueness of others and you will get all the rapport you need.

by John Bridges, CH, CPEH